Apr 8, 2008

Sometimes I'm up, sometimes I am down ...

but today, I am all over the map.

After telling Ethan's story and reliving the past 4 1/2 years, I was on a major high. Seeing what God had done in Ethan's life gave me new reasons to move past this season of our lives. NOT FORGET, just move past and begin to enjoy life again. Get back into a normal routine. Sign Ethan up for basketball, golf, or soccer. Plan a real vacation without having to worry about MRIs, seizures, too much sunlight. Find Ethan a regular school, go shopping for Ethan's 6th grade school supplies and new clothes. BUT .....

Satan has been trying to get in my head and in the name of JESUS I am going to shake the devil off.

Satan keeps reminding me that the doctors did not get all of the tumor out, there are still fragments left and that is why Ethan will have to have MRIs every 3 months for another year and a half. Satan keeps reminding me that the seizures Ethan had for sooo long took away some of his memory and learning abilities. He is no longer the child he was before this all began.

Satan keeps reminding me that Ethan was an "A" honor roll student and now he struggles through things he used to do so well and quick. Simple things. Everyday things. Satan keeps saying the meds Ethan takes will effect him long term. How could we possibly let Ethan take such strong medicines?

For the past two weeks, I have been introduced to several children who have tumors, have seizures, or have cancer and they were doing well at one time and now are not. Satan keeps saying .. see your God did NOT do what he said he would do.

Satan keeps saying, "Jai, one day the shoe IS going to drop and you better enjoy life now while you can .. I've got something waiting for you and your family." hehehe

Ethan NEEDS a lot right now. Medicine, a new school, dental work from all these meds. I want to continue to be home with my children, available to Ethan, available to my family and be able to do what we NEED to do without having to even think about it. JUST WRITE THE CHECK!

I AM so vulnerable ... But the pity party ends right NOW!

Just two words ..... BUT GOD!

Philippians 4:19 says .. "And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus" - He WILL supply

Psalm 30: 5 "weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning" - I will NOT let Satan take my joy!

Philippians 4:6 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." - All I gotta do is PRAY and TRUST GOD!

Exodus 15:25-26 "So he cried out to the LORD, and the LORD showed him a tree. When he threw it into the water, the water became drinkable. He made a statute and ordinance for them at Marah and He tested them there. 26 He said, "If you will carefully obey the LORD your God, do what is right in His eyes, pay attention to His commands, and keep all His statutes, I will not inflict any illness on you I inflicted on the Egyptians. For I am the LORD who heals you." - God DOES HEAL and did heal Ethan!

I will continue to celebrate for what God did, staying on my knees, laying prostrate and "eating rug" if I have to, and standing on God's word, hiding it in my heart and head. I will NOT lean to my own understanding. Proverbs 3: 5,6

Get thee behind me Satan .. you have NO PLACE here!

I will continue to stayed prayed up for me and my family as well as for others who have it worse than we do. I will admit I have loved having the privilege to pray for others. God only knows how many times we have been prayed for. (I know Satan does not like that)

I have come to realize ... It is NOT about me at all, it is ALL about my Lord!


Rosheeda said...

Lord, put Your hands on Jai. Cover her mind and her heart. Protect the minds of her family. Give them peace. Order their steps and provide for their every need. Be a comfort and a source of strength and contentment as they go on with living life, AFTER the tumor. Remind them just how great You are. You are bigger than all we fear or worry about. And you can restore Ethan to better than he was before. All we have to do is rest in Your promises and hold on to Your truths. So Father, we worship You with Jai and her family. We praise You alongside them. And we wait expectantly for You to show Yourself strong in their lives, yet again.
In Jesus' name. Amen.

Love you Jai.

Jai said...

Thanks Sheeda!!!! I'm just having one of those days ..

Amy Wyatt said...

Girl... you keep standing on the Word. Take that Sword out and use it against your enemy! Whatever Satan thinks he has planned for Ethan... God has something bigger planned! I will be praying for you and your family. You are so right... BUT GOD!

Jenn Jenn said...

We thank you Lord for deliverance, we thank you Father for restoration, we thank you Lord for being able to stand on Your word and as Jai has stated hide it within our hearts.
Satan in the name of Jesus, I command you to be gone. You have no place within the boundaries of the ****** household. Lord, whatever is not of you that Satan and legion of demons ARE trying to do with Jai and her family, we bind it right now in the name of Jesus.
We thank you for the victory that has already been won !!! We are grateful,thankful for what You have already done in the life of Ethan !!! We will continue to seek Your face at every turn.. !! Hallelujah !!! Thank O God for who you are and we will be careful to give all of the honor and glory in Jesus' name. Amen...

**going to get some water **

Susan said...

Dear Jai,

Just got your email and decided to see if you updated.

Oh my, CAN I RELATE to your day.

I'm so glad you ran to the WORD.

I will keep you in prayer daily and especially your son.

I read this recently:

Only GOD can turn MESS into... a MESSage
a TEST into... a TESTimony
a TRIal into... a TRIumph
a VICTim into... a VICTory
GOD is GOOD... all the time

I'm walking right along side of you sister♥

PS Feel free to write me anytime you'd like to chat...

Jai said...

Thank you, thank you Susan. Thank you for prayers and words of comfort!

We all know about TESTimonies don't we?

God is so good and I am so glad He let's us talk to Him and let Him know how we really feel .. He knows anyway ...

Sita Henderson said...

I'm learning too to be proactive in the battle for my mind. So glad you fought back the lies with the Truth of God. May God place a wall of protection around you all so that the Holy Spirit ministers to you. Blessings.
(Just clicking from Amy's blog.)

The Happy Housewife said...

I would encourage to read 2 Corinthians 1:3-11. Especially verses 9-11.
"Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers"