Nov 20, 2007

Thanksgiving ... I didn't know I was so unthankful

Thankgiving has always been a time of reflection for my family for all the things we are thankful for, but also a time to laugh, create memories, hang out with family ALL DAY, sit at the feet of the women in the kitchen and gleen some widsom.

12 years (1995) ago changed all that for me .. my mom died just after Thanksgiving. We had just started getting close again. (you know how mother daughter relationship can be) I was starting to learn sooo much from her and really enjoyed being around her more and more. She went in the hospital in October and never came back to her physical home, but went to her eternal home with Jesus. AND I GOT MAD AT GOD

A year later, Ethan was born just ONE day before her anniversary death date which happened to be Thanksgiving Day (1996) and my husband and I decided to change our outlook and celebrate my mom's life and her grandson's new beginning.

My inlaws were also a HUGE help in transforming what had become a time of grief for me to a time of celebration each year. We would have Ethan's birthday parties in Kentucky on Thankgiving Day no matter when his actual birthday fell, since he graced this world ON turkey day. Ever since that time, we go to Kentucky every Thankgiving, barring any births and celebrate the goodness of God and Ethan's birthday. All my children have November due dates ...

I had stopped pouting and started praising!

Then in 2003 the floor fell out from under me ... Ethan was diagnosed with epilepsy and started having seizures, my daughter was born and died on the same day. AND I GOT MAD AT GOD. My whole outlook at life changed. This could never, would never be the same. Ethan had been tested and was in the 99%, he knew how to read at 3, and was extremely gifted. When the seizures began, so did his spiral to awful days of seizures and memory loss and later the diagnosis of the brain tumor. AND I GOT MADDER AT GOD! But my attitude AND my relationship with God did NOT change overnight, but was gradual and I think more meaningful, because I HAD no other choice to put my hand in His, my life in His and TRUST Him for every step of Ethan's journey and EVERYTHING in my own life. Boy howdy, let me tell you .... IT AIN'T easy to do that. BUT that is just one of the lessons my God was teaching and is still teaching with me. Four years later , (and 2 more children later) I am everso thankful of what God did to my heart and my head.

And so .......
I am thankful for: (this is not everything and it is NOT in order, but you get the idea)
1) That I am saved and going to heaven
2) God has blessed me with a remarkable family (mine and hubby's)
3) My favorite human in the world, my hubby
4) 4 children
5) We eat everyday
6) We have a home (inside and out)
7) God has provided for us in the lean and the plenty
8) We are healthy
9) God healed ETHAN!
10) God has protected us
11) God gave me a great childhood, parents and siblings, (I remember so much laughter)
12) A wonderful church home and family
13) My friend Gayle (she has NO idea how much I thank God for our friendship)
14) Reliable transportation
15) My new tires .. you have to have new tires when you are driving 2000 miles ..
16) My van (I never wanted to be a soccer mom, but I love my car)
17) My relationship with Christ (Boy has He loved me in spite of myself)
18)Laughter in my home with my boys
19) My sisters and brother, (especially MeMe who has made a profound impact on me these last 4 years)
20) I am just simple thankful for everything God does

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