Last night as bedtime rolled around for the boys, I discovered they had a different agenda. We has just finished baths for all three, washing hair for three, diapering and pulling out the evening attire .. when to their amusement (and mostly mine) all of them were jumping and jumping and laughing and laughing. It was SOOOO NOISY! I stepped back and just watched them have sooo much fun! Daddy on the other hand came in the room and said what is all the noise? He was trying to ask me something I think, but gave up, because the jumping, laughing and screaming just kept going and going and he couldn't get a word in edgewise.
In my sleep last night, I could still see the boys making so much noise and God laid on my heart that while this was a wonderful thing to see - - he has been trying to reach me, but there has been NOISE in my life. I have not felt the most spiritual lately (yes, I know my salvation is not based on emotion) but I have really felt like I want more, I need more, I am confused, what is going on? What am I supposed to be doing? What is God doing?Oh gosh, the day is gone! I have too many lists and not enough time .. and sometimes just plain BLahhh. ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Then through a series of events, like falling out of bed Sunday night (I felt like I was pushed out, but not by hubby) "Duh, Jailynn, time to pray, I DON'T CARE IF IT IS 4:00am!"and then last night all the noise, which I was enjoying.... God has been trying to tell me, hey Jailynn, I am trying to talk to you. I have been enjoying my noise, being at home w/ the boys, watching movies, doing things at church, spending time with Ethan at school, cooking, baking, hanging out with friends, window shopping, reading blogs, trying to find an extra income position, on and on and on, but God said .. hey, you have NOT been having YOUR time w/ ME and there is way too much NOISE going on that is preventing you from hearing me. Yes, you have been prayerful, BUT .. I miss my time with you ...
I Miss my time w/ you .. by Larnelle Harris
There He was just waiting, in our old familiar place
an empty spot beside Him,
where once I used to wait
to be filled with strength and wisdom
for the battles of the day
i would have passed him by again if i didn't hear Him say
I miss my time with you
those moments together
I need to be with you each day
and it hurt's Me when you say you're too busy
busy trying to serve Me
but how can you serve Me when your spirit's empty
there's a longing in my heart wanting more than just a part of you
it's true I miss My time with you
what do I have to offer
how can I truly care
my efforts have no meaning
when your presence isn't there
but You will provide the power
if I take time to pray
I'll stay right here beside him
and You will never have to say..
So I am off to sit at the feet of Jesus so I can hear from Him and just plain spend time alone w/ Him!