Jul 21, 2008

In the company of Women

I have not been able to get to any of the Deeper Still or Going Beyond conferences this summer, but I was NOT going to miss Desperate for Jesus in Dallas for nothing in the world.

Priscilla Shirer, Patricia Ashley, Iris Blue and Vicki Yohe singing .. man o man ... I am NOT gonna miss this.

I have not always enjoyed being around women ...... Now hold on before you throw your shoe at me. I have not enjoyed friendships with women, because the relationships were so fake, so unreal, so catty, so "stab in you in the back, while I smile right in your face" kinda relationships.

When I was in high school, I was a cheerleader and had a lots of fun and traveled, but I really never really fit in with the other girls and did not really feel like they wanted more than just to cheer with me. I tried hard, but I never felt the "connection". They were nice girls, but no connection.

When I went off to college, I joined a church near campus and jumped right in with my servant attitude. I attended church most Sundays and wanted to get to know some ladies I could hang out with, study with, laugh with, but nothing ever worked out. Again, nice girls some of them anyway, but no connection.

Then I joined a sorority and made some new friends, but had to leave school the next semester because my mom was VERY sick and I wanted to be near her. When I came back home, the girls I knew growing up had outgrown me or had a different agenda I could not get with or wanted to be a part of therefore, I was labeled "stuck up".

Then I joined the church away from the church I grew up in and made a few friends only to later find that I was being talked about being my back on a regular basis. I had a hunger for Jesus, but no one around me could "get me" ya know? I was the weirdo, the religous fanatic, the Jesusfreak.

BUT one day, God introduced me to present circle of friends and my present church and things have never been the same. We are all Desperate for Jesus. Desperate to hear from Him, learn from Him, lean on Him. We want to celebrate Him. My new friends laugh, love and cry together. We can vent, scream, yell, encourage, support and love each other no matter what.

I have wanted to attend Women of Faith, Deeper Still or Going Beyond with my friends for a year now, but the timing was never right. When I read the blogs and stories of what wonderful things God allowed, I envied the women who were able to attend. (Just being real). When I look at the pictures, you just know God showed up at these arenas and these women were blessed.

But then God said, "I have something for you, Jai, just for you" and he is allowing me to attend and experience my own time with Him and spend time in the company of women where I can enjoy, cry with, and pray for women at this conference and have some girl time.

I pray in advance for the women I will hang out with, the women I will meet and that we will be obedient to what we will hear this weekend. I want a fresh word, a new word from my Lord. Thank you that what You have for me is for me. I want to be content with this life and the friendships you have given me. I want to be careful not to take them for granted.

I thank Him that He has allowed me to come full circle and not only enjoy being around women, but He has given me some friendships that I will treasure forever and ever and couldn't imagine my life without knowing these special ladies.

Way more than I ever intended to write today ...........


Denita said...

I'm looking forward to the conference also!

Amy Wyatt said...

Sorry I haven't been around. We've been busy traveling and at dog camp. Our schedule is crazy. I left you something over at my site. Come by to visit.