It never occurred to me that @ 40 I would have so many questions about my life unanswered. I am not sure that I thought I would have ALL THE ANSWERS to my life (thus no need to be left on the earth), but I still struggle with things I struggled with when I was younger, although on a more detailed level.
Well, I thought at 40 my career would be all worked out, my children would be well adjusted preteens, celebrating double digit wedding anniversaries (which we are by the way), vacations doable, money problems - solved .. oh and my hairstyle ... on track w/ the rest of world. Ok, I know that last one seems a little trivial, but nonetheless, not getting my hair done on a regular basis has begun to bother me. :)
I just didn't think I would have so many questions or feel so overwhelmed by my life. I started to compare and feel depressed. I know, I know, never do that. I started to get jealous (just being honest) and more dissatisfied with where I am now.
But then God reminds me .. that He has a plan for ME.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Then God reminds me, that He has me in the palm of His hands.
Hebrews 13:5 " God has said, never will I leave you or forsake you."
How comforting to know that God IS always with me and He knows what is best for. Time and time again I want to have control .. at least a little bit anyway AND I want to know what lies ahead .. but time after time, He convinces me that His ways are NOT my ways and His ways are best .. and that NOT knowing .. will allow me to TOTALLY depend on Him.
NOT easy, but very comforting.